Hi, I’m bored. I miss you. Hate you. Just woke up. Bye.
Fuck life. What the heck. Have a good day. Hate you.
OK but will you do butt stuff to me one more time before I never talk to you again? Thank you in advance.
I though you said no butt stuff! What the fuck. I will put it wherever you want times infinity but only after I chop off my hand + bleed to death out of despair. Thanks, hate you, byeee…
Why do you have to have a job? I’m so bored. I’m watching your Ustream. Can you come on Gchat and entertain me? Fuck…
Gonna go eat weird food at some ethnic market. Gonna cry into my weird food. Just wish you were on call 24/7 to talk to. Move to Minneapolis, OK? Thanks.
OK, moving tomorrow. I will come visit for real sometime soon. I have to be on my other Gmail for work, but I will come back because I want to talk to you. Enjoy your food + die of a rare tropical disease.
Fuck, I can’t get out of my parking spot! Snowed in. Fuck my life. Kill me. Oh my God, I’m starving, gonna shoot myself in the face. Hate you, miss you, go home from work already. Bye.
Sorry babe, that sucks, jeez, hope you find food soon. Don’t starve, miss you, hate you, like you. I already shot myself in the face, so I beat ya, hehe…
Ordering a pizza because I’m a fatass.
I want to feed you pizza and you feed me pizza. Please smear pepperoni on my face. Is that gross? Hate life. Miss you…Wait, are you a vegetarian? Lol…
You wanna come over and watch TV with me tonight? OK cool, thanks!
Yeah, I’ll be over at 7. You are very beautiful + hot. Fuck my life.
OK. Should I wait until you get here to take a shower?
Yeah, could you? I’ll come right from work and soap you up, OK? Sweet, byeee…
Allergic to soap. Just want you to cover me in semen.
Oh, sweet. I’m all over that. See ya soon!
Staring existentially at a snow bank… Show’s in three hours.
Internet died. Miss you. Bye. Miss you.
Cut myself a little… So sad you’re gone. Miss you.
Might do a “stairway to heaven” for real. Miss you.
Walking to the liquor store. Gonna drink one of everything ’til I forget you. Miss you.
Staring into the barrel of my Beretta. No way out. Miss you.
Might go chill in this oven for a bit. Miss you.
Asked my bro to chop my head off for Japan. He will oblige.
Cool. Should I blast myself?
Yeah, probably. Formed my own mass suicide cult. So far just me. Need some more bros. Don’t want to drink alone.
That’s chill. Won’t ever see you again I guess.
Sweet. Sounds good. Chugging this Liquid Plumber. Feeling a little weird…
Lying down on train tracks. Hope the train’s here soon. Miss you… Still no train. Gonna take 40 sleeping pills while I wait. Miss you.
Popped an artery… Sweet. Countdown to eternity… Miss you.
Star-cross’d bloggers.
Blood on the tweets.
Hate you.
Miss you.
Bye.
